When you’re going to meet with the divorce attorney, there are some steps you can take to make each meeting as productive as possible for you and your attorney. Your time is valuable, as is the time of your attorney, and you want to make the most of every minute that you have together. Here are some things to do to prepare for meeting with your attorney so that you can both benefit.
What to Prepare Before Meeting Your Divorce Attorney
Questions
Things will always go more quickly if you can prepare your questions in advance. Your attorney can’t help you efficiently if they don’t really know what it is that you want out of your divorce. Each person who comes to a divorce has different goals and different questions, and everyone has a different level of familiarity with the process. The more you know how to ask your attorney, the more informed you will be, and the faster your attorney will get a sense for what you need to know, how to help you better understand your position, and how to prepare the case to help you meet your goals.
To come up with your questions, try dividing them into sections. Your first section might be questions that have to do with the laws and procedures of the court. For example, what kind of documents are you going to need? Where will you be filing your divorce? What grounds are you allowed to divorce for, and what are the pros and cons of each of those grounds? Another section might have to do with the specifics of your concerns for your family. What kind of child custody arrangements are possible, for example, or how are assets typically divided in a California divorce?
You can also ask questions like, “how do I protect my children from an abusive parent,” or “what does California typically do for spousal support in marriages that have lasted as long as mine?”. Finally, don’t forget to ask questions about the details of the process, like what the average cost is, what kind of court fees there will be, and the typical timeline for a divorce like yours. You might also ask if there are ways to speed up that timeline, such as entering mediation.
Get Your Finances Together
There are many financial issues that have to be worked out in a divorce. It’s one of the biggest difficulties and most time-consuming aspects of any divorce. It must be very clear what all the assets of your marriage are, and you’ll also need to be able to delineate what assets belong to both spouses and which ones might be separate property. The more financial information you have to present to your lawyer, the faster they’ll be able to get a handle on your case and help you hammer out the details.
Get information on all your bank accounts, deeds or titles to all vehicles or real estate, information about any retirement accounts you have, and anything else related to your finances, like proof of income and tax returns. There’s really no such thing as bringing too much when it comes to your financials. All of it is likely to be relevant.
List Out Your Goals
Your attorney will be able to best help you when they know what it is you actually want from your divorce. Some things may be easy, some things may be difficult, and some things may be totally unrealistic. You want your divorce attorney to be honest with you and help you build a plan for your divorce that will allow you to accomplish as many of your goals as possible while also keeping an eye on your future. It’s easy to get bogged down in the minutia of the day-to-day events in a divorce, especially if it’s a contentious one and your spouse keeps calling or texting to fight over every little thing. Your attorney will help you to stay focused on your long-term goals, once they know what those goals are.
You don’t have to come up with every single goal immediately, but you should at least think through the big things, like:
Do you want to keep your family home?
Are you expecting spousal support (alimony) and how much do you need?
What kind of parenting plan are you thinking about in terms of custody and support?
Are there any other assets that you very much want to keep?
Prepare to Talk About Your Family Background
Your attorney needs to know the details of your family. This will include, of course, the basics like your name and address and the names and addresses of your spouse and your children. But think through some other details, if they’re applicable. For example, if you have children from a previous marriage that you have been raising together with the spouse you are currently divorcing, you’ll need to provide information about those children’s other parent, as well.
You’ll also want to have all the information about your children’s schools, medical providers, info regarding any counselor or therapist they might be seeing, their Social Security numbers, and anything else that’s going to be relevant to the divorce. You’ll also want to let your lawyer know about your transportation and job situation so they understand what you’re going through when it comes to caring for your children and getting to and from meetings or hearings.
If there’s any history of abuse, whether that’s against the children or against you, and whether that’s been physical, emotional, be sure to come ready to talk to your lawyer, so they can factor it into the divorce and how you approach it. Abuse can be difficult to talk about, so it might be worthwhile to write down what you want to say. If there has been abuse, be sure to provide the details about what was done, if anything. If the police were involved, get a report, and if you or your children have had any sort of counseling or therapy since, be sure to bring the name and contact information for any mental health professionals who have treated you.
Think Through Your Budget
It does cost money to get divorced. There are legal fees, of course, but there are also court fees, filing fees, and there may be fees if you need to secure the services of professionals, like accountants or business valuators, to properly tally up your assets for division. It will help your lawyer to have a general idea of what your budget is. They’ll be able to give you the best information and options based on this. Your lawyer is also going to keep you focused on your long-term future, and budget is a big part of that. Your lawyer can help you to make decisions that plan for the future carefully.
