If you’re going through a divorce, there are a lot of things you can do to help things go more smoothly and quickly. The first is to start searching “divorce lawyer near me” and find a San Diego family law attorney with extensive experience. The second thing to do is to avoid some of the mistakes listed below, which will make things more difficult than they need to be.
9 Mistakes to Avoid During a Divorce
1. Assuming Your Spouse Will Stay “Reasonable”
Even when a couple agrees to an amicable divorce at the outset, things can turn ugly and very often do. It may turn out that your spouse cares more about certain issues than they thought they did, or sometimes a party starts the divorce process thinking that all they want is to be out of this relationship as quickly as possible, but later on, they realize that it’s worth it to them to fight harder for what they want.
We’ve seen a lot of people hurt because they didn’t hire a divorce lawyer at the outset, assuming their spouse would treat them fairly. By getting a lawyer right away, you make sure that your rights are protected and that things move along as they should.
2. Not Getting Copies of All Financial Paperwork
The very moment you believe that your spouse may be considering a divorce, or if you are the one considering the divorce, one of the important steps you need to take to protect yourself is to make a copy of all the financial documents that affect you. This includes your bank accounts, credit reports, any reports about stock or insurance accounts, investment and business records, income tax documents, W-2s and 1099s, credit card statements, deeds and titles to property, and anything else you can think of.
Open a bank account in your name and make sure you have enough funds in that account to support yourself and possibly also your children for at least a couple of months. We’ve seen too many situations where a spouse attempts to liquidate all the assets the couple owns before they file for divorce. If you have any suspicion that divorce is coming, come talk to us, and we’ll help you make sure things are as locked down as they can be.
3. Not Thinking Through What’s Going to Change
Another mistake we’ve seen people make is calculating for their future using today’s numbers without thinking about how things will change. $5,000 a month in income for one household goes further than $5,000 a month spread between two. Get on the right side of this by taking time now to write down absolutely every dime you spend, and do so for at least two months if it all possible so you have a realistic idea of what your monthly budget actually is.
4. Assuming the House Is Everything
We’ve seen people give up valuable assets because they are so dead-set on keeping the house, only to lose it later. Not all assets have the same effect, and you need to remember that you will not be able to buy groceries or pay for car maintenance! If you want to keep the house, you’ll have to be able to pay the mortgage, the insurance, and all the upkeep on it, and in some cases that is going to be well out of reach. It might better to fight harder for other assets.
5. Not Having Reasonable Expectations
Consider this situation: a wife and mother is blindsided when one day, completely out of the blue, her husband announces he is running off with another woman he has fallen in love with, not only leaving her but also leaving her with the primary care of the children. After having been wronged by such morally egregious behavior, it’s natural that this woman may assume she deserves to get the lion’s share of everything in the divorce and that the court will side with her.
While she is correct that a great moral wrong has been done to her, this isn’t a wrong that the family law court is designed to make right. The courts will only be interested in making an equitable division of property based on the length of the marriage, each partner’s financial contributions to it, assets and debts, current and future earning potential, and the financial position and needs of both parties, as well as the best interest of the children.
6. Assuming Debt Is Taken Care Of
Say you have $10,000 in credit card debt between you and your spouse. The court determines, as it divides up debts and assets, that the credit card debt should be paid by your spouse. While this will feel like a huge relief to you, the fact remains that, legally speaking, if you had a joint credit card account, you are still responsible for that debt. If your spouse fails to pay the debt, the credit card company can still come after you. It’s usually in the best interest of both parties in a divorce to attempt to pay off all debts before the divorce is finalized.
7. Forgetting About Taxes
In a divorce, tax implications can get tricky. For example, if you cash out a stock option to divide it up, you may get hit with a huge tax bill the next year. There are many other complicated tax issues that can be involved, so be sure to work with a qualified lawyer who has a network of experts to call on who can help you understand all the implications of every decision you make in the course of your divorce.
8. Not Looking for a “Divorce Lawyer Near Me” in San Diego
Trying to go it alone is almost always going to result in you losing out in some way. You may lose out because your spouse is a better negotiator or has a lawyer fighting hard for them. You may lose out because you make an emotional decision in the moment without understanding the full implications of what you’re about to do. A lawyer is a third party who is on your side but also has experience and objectivity, both of which will go a long way to protect you.
9. Bad Mouthing Your Ex In Front of the Kids
If you are in the midst of a custody battle, it’s very understandable if you feel like you need to vent about your spouse, but you absolutely must not do it in front of the children. This can be used against you, especially if your spouse has a good lawyer. Be careful about what you say online, too. Save your comments for close friends only, and do everything you can to be the bigger person in the situation. Not only will this make you look good to the court, but it may even diffuse some of the tension between you and your spouse so things go more smoothly overall.
There are more mistakes it’s possible to make, but an experienced family law attorney will know how to help you avoid them. If you are contemplating a divorce, are suspicious that your spouse is about to ask for one, or even if you’ve already started the process and realize you’re in danger of making some mistakes, contact the Law Office Of Kevin Lemieux, APC in San Diego now for a free consultation.
